Brush up on galactic history

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Robots Rule, Humans Drool




Wired Magazine takes a look back at H.G. Wells, "The War of the Worlds" The article is yet another reminder from Ultrabot propagandists of their famous phrase, "Robots Rule, Humans Drool". Their continued reign relies upon your continued fear of their ultraness. Well... there are the inconvenient truths that they actually are infinitely smarter than us, stronger, and for all intents and purposes immortal. Cower in your basements, under bridges, and storm shelters my friends!

But you gotta love the 'stache -

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Drinks of Thrax Bubbles

The Cosmic Bubble Bath or what we call the Universe is frothing over with thrilling, mind-altering drink concoctions, many with potentially hazardous side-effects. Here is a sample of what can be found at a bar near you:

Oogablaster, a frothy glass full of orange bubbles and no liquid. The overpowering sweetness renders the drinker dizzy like on a ship in stormy seas. A well-made Oogablaster is stirred for 11 hours, the same amount of time it takes for an Ooga female to give birth. Her mate prepares drinks, stirring them until the babies are born. Being that the women are 10 times the size of men, this tradition was begun by a man who didn't want to die during childbirth as was the ancient custom.

Hot Spiked Antifreeze Cider, a cocktail of ingredients for enduring cold beyond what a robot was designed to endure. The spiced cider gives it that festive taste to liven spirits, antifreeze helps prevent slow thinking and joint freezing, the strong alcohol content helps numb any cramping that may occur in spite of the antifreeze. Dex drinks one of these in anticipation of a cold reception on Yeggerwold to ease his nerves.

Ground Pounder, an energy drink used by biological lifeforms and robots alike. This drink results in a surge of aggressive tendencies augmented by heightened levels of adrenaline resulting in euphoric beatings. This is the ultrabot drink of choice when preparing to deal an ultra beatdown of lesser lifeforms and early-model robots.

Galactic Supernova, this drink will blow your mind, literally. Siff orders one of these for Collin at the Thraxvue Cafe. Watching a Galactic Supernova is almost as interesting as drinking it, as a ball is dropped in water, there is a blinding flash followed by thick fog as it makes contact. Upon drinking, your mind turns instantly to
mush. You won't remember a thing for 24 hours and will have thoroughly soaked your clothes with drool.

Three-pump Twirfl syrup, blended ice, Blygian frosty with whip cream, a
special request by Siff after Dex is repaired. Like bubble tea or gourmet
coffee, Blygian frosties have endless variations to fit all tastes.

Coffee, the genetically engineered product of the Coffee Confederation.
This mild stimulant has spread throughout the CBB and is the largest
and most profitable venture in existance. Today, the Coffee Confederation
owns the most beautiful planet in the galaxy, full of the most expensive
and rare vegetation. You won't find a single coffee bean on the planet,
Kufu, corporate headquarters. It is a long held tradition that one doesn't
consume one's own merchandise.

Buda-Bomb, it puts you in total restful bliss for a short period of time.

Pooiefruit Smoothie, beware of this purple liquid. You'll remember where you were the day you tried it. The smallest sip of this drink sets off a violent chain reaction resulting in considerably lousy toilet time.

Googooberry Smoothie, a sweet and tart drink that can be highly addictive.

Cosmic Bubble Blast, this drink causes uncontrollable fits of laughter and lightens the spirits. It's the best possible cure for depression. Side effect, pink bubbles froth out from mouth and nose. Can be quite annoying for others in the room trying to avoid the bubbles and the bouncing-with-joy drinker.

Iced Coolant, the robot equivalent of iced tea. Consumed in generous
portions by robots on hot planets. Also is useful for calm in stressful
situations where the circuits are overheating due to stress. On Dex's world, robots preferred to laze around drinking this instead of actually working.
Oil-ade

Readers share your personal experiences with these stellar brews or crazy occurrences you have witnessed.

Friday, August 26, 2011

Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend


A story in the Seattle PI today has all the ladies talking. Ladies with the expensive obsession for crystalline carbon (that's diamond for those of you not up to speed) have been going gaga over the Diamond Planet. No, this is not the next installment in Pirates of the Caribbean gone galactic. It seems this diamond planet actually exists and it's only 4,000 light years away. So all those women out there with men who have promised to love them forever are now putting their man's integrity to the test.

In bedrooms around the world, women sit up in bed, cross their arms and say, "If you loved me you would get me a diamond planet."

"You said you would love me forever, so 4,000 light years is only a fraction of the love you profess for me."

One sweet girl, recognizing the financial ineptitude of her mate offered a compromise. "I don't need the whole planet, just a piece."

It's not just the men in committed relationships who are in trouble. Single men in bars are being disappointed when offering a free drink isn't enough anymore. Women are demanding diamonds as the preferred pickup "line". A diamond says more than words, afterall, and if there's a whole planet made of diamonds how hard is it for a man to give them a rock?

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Your Questions Answered About Stonehenge

Forget the meaning of life. What is the meaning behind Stonehenge? Was it built by aliens? Is it a site of mystical power? With the type of stone used being hundreds of miles away, how did the builders get it to the site?
 

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Did the Death Star Make Economic Sense?

This is exactly the type of politically charged question that Overthinking It loves to tackle.  Forget the economic sense of invading Iraq, Afghanistan and now Libya.  Obliterating an entire planet is just slightly more jaw-dropping.  They put the question to their panel of "experts" (you know, old veterans from the rebellion, surviving Jedi, former prisoners of war, and the spirits of those who are now one with the force).

The Death Star was the karmic killer of the Empire


The down-to-Earth panel suggests, “One of the more effective negotiation tactics, from a game theory perspective, is to convince your opponent that you’re crazy enough to do something stupid.”

Certainly, your opponent will be convinced that you're crazy enough to do something stupid if you actually DO something stupid.  You have rightfully earned the title thereafter of Stupid.  You've got to admire that tactic.  It's not nearly as brilliant as it is stupid.  The fact that the Empire went on to a stunning defeat seems to prove the point.  You can check the historical records (hint, it's a series of 6 movies...).

Citing an actual historical example, one panelist (could it have been Yoda?) said, “This is a pretty standard imperial tactic for dealing with rebellion,” one of the analysts wrote, noting that the Romans occasionally wiped out a rebellious city to send a message to other potential troublemakers. “Kind of like a mastectomy. You lose one productive part of the body in order to keep cancer from spreading.”

Indeed, the Romans were stupid enough to destroy the Hebrew Temple, which still lies in rubble today, and scatter the tribes of Israel.  Last I checked, there are at least 5 million Jews in New York City alone and I've yet to meet a Roman Imperialist.

Lesson to world leaders: the Death Star kills.  

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Slimeworld punishment

The relinquishing of one's right to a "good slime" and death by dehydration (known locally as deslimeification) are the most severe punishments on Slimeworld and are reserved for the most heinous of crimes.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Common insectilian saying

Common insectilian saying: "The only good human is a fat, sweaty human."

Monday, February 28, 2011

New Book Cover and Other Images

Thrax Bubbles book cover.

Other images of the Good Thrax playing in the Cosmic Bubble Bath.

Friday, February 25, 2011

Friday, February 4, 2011

The Hidden Reality With Physicist Brian Greene


Columbia University professor, Brian Greene talks on KUOW radio about the Cosmic Bubble Bath. Listen to the podcast or get the book. Scientific evidence that the lovable Thrax actually exists?

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Galactic Bill of Intelligent Species Rights


The Galactic Bill of Intelligent Species Rights, does not cover animals who live by instinct or robots that run on programming. 


Whether or not humans are covered is still a matter of political debate.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Alien Ship Recognition Tip #1

Merry Christmas everyone! 

If you are out in space and see what looks like a giant Christmas tree begin evasive maneuvers immediately.  Reptilian ships are loaded with heat lamps and UV light to sustain their cold-blood in space.  They are also notorious space pirates who make a living out of stealing space ships and leaving their prisoners sunburned and stranded on desert worlds.